Meet Randy the Rude gnome. Place him on your set of keys and press his base whenever the need arises: eg standing in line at the supermarket or when the extended family comes over.

Randy hangs there, smug and incredibly rude, and with the push of a button you?ll hear one of the following sayings:

- The best thing about being a garden gnome is that I?m always hard.

- Hey you, lean down, I wanna tell you something. Come on closer, closer, closer. Now p@ss off dip sh#t!

- Hey you, f@#k off!

- Take one step closer and I?ll chew your knee caps off.

- ?farts? Oh man I held that one in for 3 hours waiting for someone to show up.

- Hey you, my balls are really itchy but I can?t move. Would you mind?